Cyclical Living in the Real world
Do you want to align your schedule with your menstrual cycle but it seems impossible given all the demands of modern life? In this episode, we dive into the challenges of cyclical living while juggling responsibilities and societal expectations. If you want to know more about the concept of cyclic living and how to practically implement it in the real world, this episode is for you.
We chat about:
My four best tips for cyclical living in the real world
The most important factor in cyclical living
Some suggestions for approaching friends, family, or even an employer about
cyclical living
How to thrive because of your cycle, instead of trying to navigate around it
Using the moon to support cyclical living
By adopting cyclic living, we can create a healthier and more nourishing approach to life, respecting our bodies' natural rhythms and allowing ourselves to thrive in all phases of our cycle. This episode offers practical tips and insightful perspectives on living in harmony with your body's wisdom.
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Podcast Transcript:
Hey everyone, I wanted to answer this question that I got last week about cyclic living.
This sounds like such a great idea. Let's align our lives with our menstrual cycles, but how do we practically do that when we live in the real world and we have a regular job and we have to show up for responsibilities and all of those kinds of things? So I want to talk a little bit about that today, and it's such an important question because you know, pretty much all of us are dealing with that, even if we don't have a regular nine-to-five type of job or situation that we have to show up for. We do live in this real over culture where our living cyclically according to our bodies' cycles is not the theme of our over culture. So whether you have a regular job or not, we're all navigating this to some extent or another.
I work from home, so, and I make my own schedule more or less to some extent. I do take calls and those types of things, but yes, it is easier if you don't have to go show up at a nine-to-five. There are some easier considerations there. But we're all navigating this world where the pressures are just relentless and the thing just keeps on going.
And how do we if we really want to center our own bodies' wisdom and cycles, we're all navigating this, how to do this? I have four things, the first of which is that, and this is probably gonna sound super obvious, but I think it's really worth talking about out of the gate because it's the most important piece of all of this is that we're doing this for ourselves in our own bodies. And so leaving aside anything else that is happening in the outside, what we might have to show up and do, or expectations that are on us or anything like that, there's something that's happening on the inside where we are creating more awareness of what's happening for us, of our cycles and what phase we're in, and more acknowledgement and where we're developing more sensitivity and leaning in within our own selves, within our own bodies, into these energies. So it starts with that awareness and really building that embodied sense of your own cycle and the energies and allowing those to be expressed and to be felt, and to be lived out, and to take up space in your embodied experience.
That's really the biggest piece of this and where it all starts because our normal cultural attitude about all of this is that we just press on and pretend that nothing is happening. You know, we pop a pill and we just get to it.
When we can really shift that narrative within our own bodies that no, actually something is happening and something is different for me this week, and really create that acknowledgement, then our experience of it starts to change, which is really the most important thing, right?
Is how we feel and our experience of it. So from that place, it's within the immediate realm of how you're moving through your day and through your world. So once you have that level of awareness, for example, when you're during the time of your bleed, like the old paradigm is like, let's pretend that's not happening.
Let's just pop some painkillers and we're still gonna show up for our spin class. Yes, we're still gonna go out on Friday night. We're still gonna come to work and give the big presentation. We're still gonna, just carry on as if nothing is happening. When we start to develop more of that awareness and sensitivity, how we show up to the world, those things are gonna shift and change.
So right away in that more immediate experience are all of those pieces. And the second thing is arranging as much of your experience
as possible to fit in with the energies of your cycle. So understanding that we're not gonna be able to completely change everything that's happening in our environment to suit the phase of the cycle we're in.
But we do have a lot of agency over things. So for example, I like to work out pretty much every single day. I do some kind of exercise, whether it's yoga or weightlifting or cardio or hiking. But when my bleed is coming on and when I'm in my bleed, I'm not gonna just show up for my weightlifting workout or for a HIIT workout. No. What I'm gonna do instead is say, "Okay, do I even feel like moving?" Maybe I don't. A lot of times on day one of my bleed, I actually just take a rest day. I actually just say, "I might go for a gentle walk. I might not. I might lay in bed most of the day if that's possible for me, and I just let that go."
You know? So that's kind of a really simple example of something that is within our control, in our own experience. Other things that we have control over are social engagements. So if my bleed is coming on, I will cancel social engagements, particularly if it's people who understand this cyclical wisdom where I can say, "I started bleeding today. Can we reschedule? Or can we do a Zoom instead of me schlepping out to the coffee shop?" I may even just not show up. Like if I had maybe planned to go to ecstatic dance or something like that, I might just take a rain check on that and just really not show up and just really give myself that space.
Other things we have control over is asking for support within our families and friends. Making sure actually that we're talking to people that we live with in our homes, in our families, in our immediate support system, that we're feeling open to talk to them about what we're experiencing.
I tell my kids, "Mommy's bleeding today, so I'm gonna take things really easy." And they just have that expectation. My husband has that expectation that I'm not cooking dinner that night, right?
Things are just gonna move a lot slower during my bleed time.
So we do have a lot of agency over our experience, even if we have to show up for a nine-to-five and even within the nine-to-five. I have worked nine-to-five, believe it or not, in the past. I'm not working a nine-to-five right now. But I have gone through times of working outside the home in a job, even recently when I've already been aware of this, and when I've gone through those times, I've really endeavored as much as possible to get as much off of my plate when either when I know my bleed is coming or if my bleed does come.
To really prioritize what absolutely has to be done and needs my attention and to see if I can slide anything else a day or two, usually for me, and you can see what's true for you. But for me, it's maybe the day or two before my bleed and day one of my bleed, sometimes into day two.
For me, it's really only talking about like three, four days where I need to move slower and really feeling like this feels good and healthy and nourishing to be more inward with my energy and to let things slide and lean into that. But you can see what works for you.
I'm making that point to say that it's not like you have to clear a whole entire week out of your calendar. It may be just a couple of days that you really want to be more conscious, conscientious, and aware. And yeah, even with
a nine-to-five, seeing is there stuff that maybe doesn't particularly need to be done today that could shift to the next day, even meetings or phone calls that need to be made, or a big project that needs to be worked on.
Maybe that doesn't need to be done today. Maybe there are some pieces of things that need to be attended to, but for the most part, things could shift a little bit. So I think just being aware that we actually do have a lot of agency over things and shifting as much as we possibly can within that paradigm and within how we're moving through the world.
Those are kind of the key things to take that even further, though, you know, I think it's worth considering. Do you work for a place that might be open actually to hearing more about menstrual consciousness and that might be open to something like menstrual leave or that might be open to shifting or creating different policies around what women are enabled and empowered to do in the workplace when they're bleeding?
So maybe those are actually conversations that you might consider having at some point with the people that you work for, your supervisor or your team or your HR department.
You could even educate them as to these energies of the female cycle and educate them on how they can support women to be more resourced, just in general because it does benefit everyone when we take the time to allow these energies the space. Then, of course, we have more energy when we move into the spring and summer of our cycles. So it does benefit not only us but most likely the world, everybody around us as well.
So that's the third thing, considering do you actually maybe want to engage people at the place that you work or people that you work with, if that's possible because we do need to actually have these conversations in order for things to change.
And so if you're feeling resourced and empowered and wanting to take that on, and you have the space and the energy to take that on, maybe you actually do want to take that on as a point of cultural and societal change that we're maybe creating different paradigms for that our children are gonna inherit.
So that's a consideration as well.
Okay, so we talked about doing this within ourselves and our own experience. We talked about arranging as much as we can to reflect the energies of our cycles, as much as we have agency over. We talked about the potential of having these conversations with our workplaces.
And the last thing I want to mention is that even when we can't change things, for example, I have calls sometimes that are scheduled on the day I start bleeding, and I don't cancel calls or clients at the last minute. That's something I suppose I could do.
And you're empowered to do that if that is what feels right to you, to just absolutely cancel everything on day one of your bleed. You're absolutely empowered to do that. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that. For me, that's not how I'm navigating my boundaries with this.
But what I do is I lean into the energies of the phase I'm in. So if there are things I have to do, obligations that I have and really need to show up for, I lean into the energy of the phase I'm in. I don't try to force myself to show up in this full outward summer energy if I'm bleeding. I may even mention if I show up to a client session that today is the first day of my bleed, so I'm in a softer energy today.
When we are on our bleed, there are some beautiful energies we can capitalize on during that time. We can be more intuitive, and our softness and slowness can be a net positive for what we need to show up for—our introspection and awareness of our internal environment can be a powerful energy we bring to a space. So rather than seeing our bleed time as a detriment, we can go, "What are the positives or energies we can capitalize on during this time? How can I bring that more to the forefront in anything I have to do?"
This is about giving ourselves permission not to show up the same exact way every single day, which is what our overculture expects of us—just to show up the same or even better each day, doing more and more. That's not the reality of our female bodies. So part of it is giving yourself that permission, but also really leaning into those energies when you do have to show up for things. If you have a social engagement, meeting, or something, give yourself permission to move more slowly, wear something different, sip tea, do something comforting for yourself. Don't feel pressured to work the room or talk to every single person. Lean in with those energies as much as possible for the things we can't change and for the things we have to do. Let's not expect ourselves to be the same every day and create more awareness with the people around us that we have phases of energy and ways we show up to the world. There's a beautiful art and poetry to that as well.
Those are the main practical tips for how to do this cyclic living piece when we live in the real world.
If you don't have a hormonal cycle for any reason, whether that's no bleed or no hormonal cycle, you can also do this by the phases of the moon. The full moon would correspond to summer, to that ovulation outward energy, and the new moon would correspond to winter, that more inward descending menstrual energy. So you can organize your month in that way. It feels more nourishing to your body to have a month where there is a cycle and it's not just the same all the time. We're not expected to have the same productivity, energy levels, and output. We allow ourselves to move through these cycles of more inward and then more outward. It just feels better and more nourishing to the nervous system. Using the cycles of the moon.
Or if you have really weird cycles, whether they're really long or regular or anything like that, you can also just use the moon if you want to set up your month in that way according to more of a cyclic pattern, and that's more predictable.
So we know exactly when the new moon and the full moon are coming. So maybe it's easier, even for planning if you want, to organize your month that way. You can maybe look and say, "Okay, the new moon is gonna be that Wednesday. Let me not schedule any big appointments or speaking engagements or meetings or project deadlines or anything like that."
That's gonna be my more inward, restful, nourishing time. And the last thing I want to chat about is the more meta level of this idea of cyclic living, which I was just speaking about a little bit, which is just how good and nourishing it feels to our bodies to live in this more cyclic way instead of just with this cultural expectation that we're just always in summer.
You know, the summer energy is preferred. And if you're not in a summer energy where you're full and bright and outward and engaged and all of these things, that there's something wrong. It's actually really not that healthy and beneficial to our bodies and our nervous systems to just always be in this kind of same energy.
So with this idea of cyclic consciousness, of menstrual consciousness, of cyclic living, it's really healthy and nourishing to actually think of micro and macro cycles of life and leaning into this idea of the wisdom of the cycle more and more with how we're moving through the world just generally.
And so, micro cycles in the day, thinking of our day as the nighttime being the winter, the inward. The morning being a spring energy, the midday being more the summer, and then the afternoon being the fall. That's a micro cycle, but we also have cycles in the month where we can not only buy our menstrual cycle, but just what's happening with the moon or our rhythms in our job or our lives throughout the month, as well as throughout the year. So we can both plan for and build in these cyclical patterns, these cyclical waves. I think it's really helpful actually to build that into how we are organizing our time. We can also just be responsive and allow the cycles to reveal themselves. So you may just find yourself in more of a low or a winter phase, and then you go, "Okay, I'm in a macro cycle of winter in my life."
How can I lean into that and allow that to happen more, rather than what we do normally, which is like, let me just green smoothie my way out of this, get my energy high and get out of this slump or whatever. The more that we can actually build in and plan, the less that I find we tend to get dragged down, like our body is like, "Well, you haven't taken a winter in a while, so now you're gonna get sick and we will help you to rest and go inward and come down."
So I find that the more we can build this in, the less that we just get pulled under by the things that are happening in our lives. One of the ways that I do that is I take the last week of every month off completely from holding space and from doing coaching. So I coach for three weeks out of the month, and then that last week of the month, I build in a mini winter where I may work, but it's more, gives me space to do more creative projects or maybe I have a lot of admin that needs to be done, and so that can be something that happens that week. It just allows me as well to then do some of my
own practices and really resource myself so that when I come back into the times when I'm supporting clients again, I feel more resourced and available for that, versus if I was just constantly, constantly in that energy of being outward and holding space and never taking that time where I could go inward.
It would just be more depleting for my system. So that's one little way that I build that cyclical living in. I also like to think of any creative projects that I have in this cyclical way. And I think this can be really revelatory as well because most of us tend to get stuck in one phase of the cycle.
For example, I tend to have a hard time with winter. A lot of people do. Most people do. In fact, I tend to have a hard time with winter, with letting things completely end and die. I'm pretty good at finishing projects, but then what I often do is just skip right to the next thing and not really allow myself to have this kind of, okay, the thing has come to a close and now letting there be a period of rest or a fallow period before moving into the next thing. A lot of people struggle with this, so having a bit more consciousness around that, are we gracefully moving through every phase of the cycle with the things that we're doing?
Can be really supportive and noticing where you get stuck. Some people get stuck in other phases. Some people have a hard time completing things, they get stuck with the fall, the autumn phase, which is the phase of harvesting, bringing things to a close, getting things organized, tying up loose ends.
Some people have a hard time with that phase of things. Some people just like to start projects over and over. They like the spring and maybe some of the summer energy, maybe a little bit of summer. But they don't like to or they struggle with bringing things to a close and with that autumn energy.
So it can just be really illuminating to notice where if anywhere you tend to get stuck or phases of the cycle that you tend to skip over. Some people skip over the spring. They jump right into doing and right into the summer energy of like, okay, I have an idea. Let me just get into action and skip this kind of emergent springtime energy, which is about planting seeds and new growth and nourishing new ideas and creativity that's just coming through.
It's a more tender energy. It's a more delicate spring type of emerging energy versus this kind of full-on doing, doing.
Some people don't plan. That's a lot of where the planning and the maturation of our creativity comes before we go into the doing phase. So that's also just creatively a useful tool to notice.
So cyclic living, one of the most radically feminist acts that we can do, and also to teach our daughters to do. Ideally, we would all be able to really live in this more cyclic way. It's more graceful. It's more nourishing. The planet lives this way.
The pulsing of the cosmos is this way. There is not any real healthful demonstration in nature of constant expansion. That's called cancer, and it's actually quite toxic. So what nature shows us is that we move through the phases of death and rebirth, and we move through the phases of summer and winter.
The planet moves through, the month moves through, and our own bodies move through. So it's just really beautiful feminine wisdom to be able to start to really lean into organizing your time and the way that you're moving through the world in this way.
Hope you're all having a wonderful week and we'll talk to you again soon. Bye.