How do we create real change?
Raise your hand if you ever passionately set a goal, promising yourself that this time, I’m sticking to it… only to “fall off the wagon” shortly after.
Yep, me too.
Creating real transformation in our lives isn’t always easy. Perhaps you’ve tried talk therapy, mindset, goal setting, or intention setting already and yet you’re still struggling.
Real change NEVER happens through the mind only.
Lemme repeat that:
we don’t create change with our minds!
Cognitive, mind-based solutions are great, but they can only take us so far. Using the mind and deciding something simply isn’t enough to create real lasting change with our stickiest challenges.
What usually happens is we get inspired and make a plan, (both of which are mental processes btw), and we feel initially great! But as time goes on, our motivation, discipline, and focus wanes. It’s not sustainable. Our usual habits and patterns are well-worn, and they’re easy to fall back into.
To create effective change we need to work with and through the body.
Your body is the densest part of you, and your body has her own story. Your body has her own agenda that might be quite different from what you currently think, “know,” or want in your mind.
There is more nervous system information heading from our body to our brain than there is the other way around. Did you know that?
The body is informing the brain MORE than the mind is informing the body.
Even our language reveals how relevant the body is to who we are being in the world. And transformation is ALL ABOUT who we are being.
I had a gut feeling.
He was spineless.
Let me chew on it.
You’ll have to sit on your hands.
That’s a pain in the neck.
He gave me the cold shoulder.
The way we speak reveals that we know on some level the relevance of the body.
So how do we create change through the body?
We are using the FELT SENSE in the body in two specific ways. First, to show us where we are holding frozen tension, stuck habits and patterns, emotions, and resistances in the body that we might not be aware of at the level of the mind. And second, to orient our bodies to the felt sense we are trying to create through the change or transformation we want.
Let me give you an example. You don’t want to call in a partnership because you just want to be married. You want that because you imagine you will FEEL a certain way when you get it. You will feel happier, more fulfilled, more loved, supported.
When we tap into that emotionally-linked feeling state, when we fill up our fields with this deeper level of meaning and desire, it becomes fuel that sustains us in the process of change.
Not only that, being connected to this embodied sense of what we are trying to create actually changes the way we think, feel, and respond to the world, and the choices we make. It can change our behavior without us having to DO anything or THINK about it!
Emotionally-linked ‘feeling states’ become part of the unconscious memory system. This is a completely different level of the brain than the type of memory that thinks and decides something. Learning to ride a bike, or pro athletes who go in to “flow” state and achieve amazing physical feats … both of those use this implicit memory system that runs below the level of conscious awareness.
In other words, for real change to happen, we aren’t supposed to rely on our decision making or discipline – we need to create a different experiential state in the body.
This then goes on to inform and influence how we behave, how we see the world, how we’re being, and even what we’re aware of around us.
To make use of this, we need to develop greater sensitivity to the body, and also liberate stuck or frozen tension, habits, and patterns.
And we can’t stop there. Even if you feel like nothing is obviously standing in the way, we must also anchor in the felt sense of expansion, pleasure, or aliveness that is calling us forward.
We have to activate that desired feeling-state so that it loads up a different program in our operating system!
The tools I use are the surest way I know to create real change that brings all of you along in the process. It’s why I call it “embodiment alchemy” because alchemy is the process of turning one thing into another, better thing, like lead into gold.
When you work with me, I support you to do all of this. AND I guide you in processes that capitalize on your feminine fuel & life force energy, to make sure that you are going into action in a way that feels full and resourced, easeful and in flow.
I don’t work with very many private clients at a time, because I give so much of my attention to each of my 1:1 women, but I do have a 1:1 spot open right now, so if you’re curious, get on my schedule for a FREE chat about how to create real change through your body.
